How to Create Content So Good, Your Cat Will Actually Pay Attention.

Listen, we need to talk about your content. It's giving "word salad," it's giving "my boss made me post this," it's giving... well, it's not giving much of anything, is it?

But don't worry! We're about to turn your snooze-fest content into something people might actually read (possibly even on purpose).

Step 1: Know Your Audience (Like, Actually Know Them)

Before you write another word, ask yourself:

• Who are these people? (And no, "everyone with a pulse" is not an answer)

• What keeps them up at 3 AM? (Besides doom-scrolling TikTok)

• What makes them cry into their coffee?

For example, if your audience is millennials, they probably care about things like "Can I afford avocado toast AND rent?" and "Why do I need 5 years of experience for an entry-level job?"

If you're talking to Gen Z, just use more emojis and pretend everything is unhinged. They'll love it.

Step 2: Tell a Story (But Make It Dramatic)

Nobody wants to hear "Our product increased efficiency by 47%." YAWN.

They want to hear: "Jessica was drowning in spreadsheets, her inbox had 10,000 unread emails, and her houseplant died. Then she found our product. Now she's CEO. The plant is still dead, but you can't have everything."

Every good story needs:

• Characters: People your audience can relate to (bonus points if they're a hot mess)

• Conflict: A problem so relatable it hurts

• Resolution: How they fixed it (preferably with your product, but subtly, like you're not even trying to sell anything)

  
  

Step 3: Actually Be Useful (Wild Concept, I Know)

Here's a revolutionary idea: give people something they can actually use.

Instead of: "10 tips to boost productivity!"

Try: "Here's a template that will save you 4 hours a week, which you'll probably spend watching Netflix, but at least you'll feel less guilty about it."

Free stuff makes people happy. Be the Santa Claus of content. Except year-round. And less creepy.

Step 4: Visuals, Baby!

Walls of text are the enemy. If your content looks like a Terms & Conditions page, you've already lost.

Add:

• Memes (but only if they're actually funny—ask a 20-something first)

• Charts that don't require a PhD to understand

• Videos under 60 seconds (our attention spans are cooked, embrace it)

• Photos of dogs (works every time)

  
  

Step 5: SEO Is Your Frenemy

Yes, you need keywords. No, you shouldn't sound like a robot wrote your content while having an existential crisis.

Bad: "Digital marketing solutions provider utilizing synergistic approaches to maximize ROI optimization"

Good: "We help you not waste money on ads that nobody clicks"

Use keywords naturally, like you're talking to a human person. Revolutionary, I know.

Step 6: Make People Actually Do Something

Your content needs a call to action. But "Click here!" is weak. Try:

• "Drop your hottest take in the comments 👇"

• "Share this if you've ever cried in a work bathroom"

• "Tag someone who needs to see this (and therapy)"

Give them a reason to engage that's more compelling than continuing to scroll into the void.

Step 7: Check Your Data (It Won't Lie to You)

Look at your analytics. Which posts flopped harder than your New Year's resolutions? Which ones popped off?

If your audience loves your unhinged rant posts but ignores your carefully crafted thought leadership pieces... well, embrace the chaos. Give the people what they want.

Step 8: Be Consistent (But Like, In a Chill Way)

Post regularly, but don't burn out creating content nobody asked for.

Make a schedule:

• Monday: Motivational post (lie to everyone that it's going to be a good week)

• Wednesday: Educational content (pretend you have your life together)

• Friday: Something unserious (you've earned it)

  
  

Step 9: Let Your Audience Create Content For You

User-generated content is chef's kiss. Why? Because you barely have to do anything.

Run a contest: "Show us your worst work-from-home setup" or "Caption this photo of our CEO eating a sandwich."

Share customer testimonials. Let them do the talking. You deserve a break.

Step 10: Never Stop Learning (Unfortunately)

The internet changes faster than fashion trends in a 2000s rom-com. What worked last month might be cringe now.

Stay updated:

• Follow people who are funnier than you

• Take courses when Mercury isn't in retrograde

• Lurk in online communities like the digital spy you are

  
  

The Real Talk Section

Creating good content is hard. Like, really hard. Some days you'll write something brilliant. Other days you'll stare at a blank screen and question all your life choices.

But here's the thing: even mediocre content that's consistent beats perfect content that never gets posted because you're too busy overthinking it in your Google Docs graveyard.

So stop procrastinating, stop doom-scrolling for "research," and just create something. Your audience is waiting. Well, they're probably not waiting—they're on TikTok—but they'll appreciate it when they eventually see it!

Now go forth and make content that doesn't make people's eyes glaze over. You got this. Probably. Maybe.